September 25, 2014
It was a month last night.
Bella's cancer is ever pressing on my soul.
And of all the things to be haunting me, I wonder how could you not miss me?
I gave you all my best.
For the first time I was looking forward to Christmas.
I wanted to decorate your apartment and my own home, make you a million things, glittering snow flakes and orange & clove pomanders, butter cookies.
I wanted you to feel very special. I tried so hard to make you feel special.
But now all that is a head of me is Bella's slow death. A fate I am currently engaged in battle with. A world frozen over. A heart that is screaming out in its demise.
I wish I could just sleep.
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Only kindness matters.