When I

When I woke up today all the old pain returned.
My chest a hollow cavern where dreams go to die.

When I got out in the sun, it hurt, but that is a pain I understood.

When I walked though the doors of sacred space, I was reminded that I was not alone.

When I pulled out of the parking lot I remembered I was going to an empty home.

As I sit with my warm cup in hand, I think I can survive this.

As I sit with my warm cup in hand, I think, do I want to?

As I sit with my warm cup 1/2 empty I see my phones have not rung.

As I sit with my warm cup 1/2 empty and I am told to make art.

As the room grows colder, I have become older.

As  the room grows colder, I have failed to attain your love.

As the room has grown cold, I gave up on my last hope.

As I pull up the sheet, God please let me sleep

I do not want to feel, anymore.

 There was some agony the day I wrote this, there is some of the same agony now, but it is also held to heel with family,  good friends and my dogs.