New World Order...

I have been quiet too long...
When I think the silence descends.

I had to re-org my social structure a bit. It hurt. A lot, some of it still does, but I was allowing myself to get too effected by other peoples shit. Call it empathy, call it weakness, call it being a good friend... whatever. I needed to pull back and regroup. For once, for bloody once, I had to put me first. (well maybe for the 2nd time in my life)

Accept...
For my Balin. (Formerly "Puppy Love") soon to make it to his first birthday,(if we can stop having medical crisis and eating things like gravel and rhinestones).

And then...
My 2 friends with cancer. They both are really special humans. Both getting smacked with such highs and lows of life in rapid succession. They are gifts to me, even if I am crying for them or with them...

On top of...
There are some serious medical problems in my family. Some of which are genetic and are making me wonder if getting tested is suicidal or wise. All of this sprinkled in with a bit of a crisis of faith, a deep questioning of,  I should bother trying to date again, should I sell my home and multi-handful of crippling anxiety attacks.

So...
My best friend will be up today, there may or may not be a cheat day of pizza. (I have lost 10lbs and will continue to do so). I will work on long over due recordings for my friend in England (damn the background noise) and my lack of printer ink so the damn click of the keyboard gets recorded. I will walk the crazy luv mutt as long as the UV stays under 3 and it is not pouring and do my best to try to live again. And write.

And for the record. Sence8 stole a touch of my idea. I have been working the 15 pages I have for years and years. LOL. And mine is more of modest sets of 3.